natural beauty

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?" Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
-Maryanne Williamson

This weekend, I co-taught a beauty/nutrition class at a middle/high school girls conference. I can't even tell you how much fun I had and how much I already love the girls in my small group. The only way I could bear to drag myself away from them yesterday was remembering that Disciple Now is less than two months away. In preparation for talking about beauty, I did a little introspection and an even smaller amount of research. I flipped through an old, thoroughly underlined book that I read, appropriately, in high school:

"In The Sound of Music, the Countess has Maria beat in the looks department, and they both know it. But Maria has a rare and beautiful depth of spirit. She has the capacity to love snowflakes on kittens and mean-spirited children. She sees the handiwork of God in music and laughter and climbing trees. Her soul is alive, and we are drawn to her." -Captivating, pg. 16-17

I also wrote this journal entry on 20 Janvier:

One of the very deepest longings of my heart is to be a natural beauty. I'm not sure precisely what that means, but I think its more than just not needing to wear makeup. In fact, I think that you can be a natural beauty and still wear makeup. I think it has more to do with demeanor than physical appearance. I want to feel beautiful - to make others around me feel it themselves. Beauty has a lot to do with confidence, and confidence, knowing the truth about yourself: the LORD created me; I am his masterpiece, his handiwork, his poetry, so of course he finds me beautiful. As if that knowledge wasn't enough, He is showing me who I am:

I love boxing movies and waking up early. I'm a cat person, a mountain-girl with a weak spot in her heart for banjo music, beards, and plaid. I like to make my friends laugh, and nights in with a small group of friends appeals to me so much more than a night out (unless you are talking about out-camping). I like to ride my bike in a skirt and I love cold weather and sweaters, although autumn is, without question, my favorite season, and November my favorite month. My favorite color is green - almost any shade except kelly. More recently, I have grown into my love for deep purple, or eggplant, if you will.

I don't really keep up with current events, and I'm not sure whether I will or not when I finish college. I'm learning to appreciate antiques, and I love fresh fruit and whole grain bread from the Publix bakery. I consider myself an accomplished granola-maker and I love dark chocolate. Spending time with my grandparents is very important to me and I love hearing their stories from different stages of life. I hug really hard and love even harder. I stopped using product in my hair a few months ago in an effort to move toward the whole "natural beauty" thing. I like it. At my mother's request, I started plucking my eyebrows last week, but the jury's still out on that one. I'm taining for a 10k right now, with the eventual goal of completing a half-marathon in the spring. I'm not a runner, so this is a challenge for me.

I know I've posted lists like this before, but the reason I share these things about myself is to encourage others to discover the intricate and purposeful details of their own identity. The LORD cares, for "even the very hairs on your head are all numbered." (matthew 10.30)

"This is what we are inviting you to: not to learn one more set of standards you fail to meet, not toward a new set of rules to live by and things you ought to do, something far far better - a journey of the heart, a journey toward restoration and release of the woman you always longed to be. It's about discovering who you already are, as a woman." -Captivating, pg. 19

As I told the girls this weekend, things like purity and modesty are vital in protecting the "hidden person of our hearts," but if we don't come to know who that hidden person is, we will underestimate our own worth, reducing purity/modesty to a seemingly pointless list of rules. If we ask Jesus to reveal to us just the tiniest glimmer of who we are in his eyes - just one or two quirks that make us so unique and beautiful - we will fight to guard the purity of our hearts: a process known is some circles as modesty.