I just got to get you this good job done
so I can bring it on home to you.
-Ray LaMontagne, Three More Days
Things I'm interested in pursuing over the break:
1. Yoga on Saturday, Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday at the Y.
2. Visiting the eye doctor [new glasses].
3. Pizza from Little Italy [It's true, we have one in Athens, but it's just not the same].
4. Spending some time at Holly Park.
5. Illustrating a children's book called Carl's Cochlear Implant.
6. Giving blood.
7. Hiking.
8. Watching Seinfeld every night.
9. Sharing a bed with my baby sister.
10. Chasing my baby brother around the house.
11. Family Christmas picture.
12. Running with new puppy.
13. Seeing my family.
14. Consuming 4x an appropriate daily caloric intake in one sitting.
15. Cooking with my grandmothers.
Three more days. Please share your list.
Tuesday, November 18
Sunday, November 16
it's not easy
People, people, people, they make it sound so easy
They say just do what your heart tells you to
But sometimes you cannot feel it
Sometimes you cannot hear it
Sometimes it won’t talk back to you.
-from Pretty Girl From San Diego by The Avett Brothers
Do you ever feel like you're just barely treading water? Like you're using every ounce of energy to keep your head in the air so you can breathe? Do you ever feel that way for no apparent reason? Perhaps it can be attributed to some weird reaction between senioritis and anxiety about graduating a year before most of my friends. I feel like I'm losing sight of the vision I've been so sure of for months and years even. I'm questioning the choices I've made regarding my career path. I'm worried that I will, as so many others have, forget the compassion I now feel for refugees, widows, and orphans when I transition from youth to "real" adulthood.
How do you know if your choices are pleasing to the Lord? How do you decide between good, better, and best? Can I honestly place any amount of trust in decisions that I made my freshman year apart from God? Why have I had such overwhelming peace about all of this until now? Are these doubts something that I've conjured up within myself, or are they meant as a way of communication from the Holy Spirit?
They say just do what your heart tells you to
But sometimes you cannot feel it
Sometimes you cannot hear it
Sometimes it won’t talk back to you.
-from Pretty Girl From San Diego by The Avett Brothers
Do you ever feel like you're just barely treading water? Like you're using every ounce of energy to keep your head in the air so you can breathe? Do you ever feel that way for no apparent reason? Perhaps it can be attributed to some weird reaction between senioritis and anxiety about graduating a year before most of my friends. I feel like I'm losing sight of the vision I've been so sure of for months and years even. I'm questioning the choices I've made regarding my career path. I'm worried that I will, as so many others have, forget the compassion I now feel for refugees, widows, and orphans when I transition from youth to "real" adulthood.
How do you know if your choices are pleasing to the Lord? How do you decide between good, better, and best? Can I honestly place any amount of trust in decisions that I made my freshman year apart from God? Why have I had such overwhelming peace about all of this until now? Are these doubts something that I've conjured up within myself, or are they meant as a way of communication from the Holy Spirit?
Saturday, November 8
appalachian
I know it's hard to see Me darling
let your eyes adjust
if you go blind just trust
you were made out of My dust.
-from Dogs by Page France
Sometimes I get confused about where I'm headed. I expect that that statement makes a lot of you laugh because I've always been the kind of girl that knows where she's headed and how to get there. While it's true that I am blessed with a substantial amount of clarity (especially for a college student) on most days, my mind can get pretty foggy on others. It feels like driving up an unfamiliar twisty mountain road at night; the headlights of the oncoming traffic seem to temporarily blind you and you hope your impaired vision doesn't last long enough to make you careen around a curve and off a cliff. (...better try the emergency brake!)
I wonder if I'm making the right decisions, or if I'm extending grace as freely as it's been extended to me. I worry that the things I desire are not the things I'm "supposed" to desire, or that I'm slipping back into the habits of my old slave-to-schoolwork self. I know that I make the world about myself far too often, and I second-guess many of the ways I've chosen to interpret reality.
I suppose there are a lot of things that I would sort of like to happen, but I think that I'm finally learning to surrender my own personal agenda to the will of the One that loves me more than anyone ever has or ever will. You see, I have a history of holding on too tightly to good things that just were not best for me; my grandmother once described me as "loving hard." It sounds like a good thing, but I'm not really interested in going down any more dead-end roads.
I'm confused about a lot of things, but in this moment, as I type this, and for the last few days really, I have wanted nothing but whatever God's very best is for me. I feel as though I can say that with more honesty than ever before.
My mom and I went to visit Appalachian State University this weekend and I loved it. I won't say too much, but Boone felt ten times more right than Seattle felt wrong. There was space for my heart up in the mountains.
let your eyes adjust
if you go blind just trust
you were made out of My dust.
-from Dogs by Page France
Sometimes I get confused about where I'm headed. I expect that that statement makes a lot of you laugh because I've always been the kind of girl that knows where she's headed and how to get there. While it's true that I am blessed with a substantial amount of clarity (especially for a college student) on most days, my mind can get pretty foggy on others. It feels like driving up an unfamiliar twisty mountain road at night; the headlights of the oncoming traffic seem to temporarily blind you and you hope your impaired vision doesn't last long enough to make you careen around a curve and off a cliff. (...better try the emergency brake!)
I wonder if I'm making the right decisions, or if I'm extending grace as freely as it's been extended to me. I worry that the things I desire are not the things I'm "supposed" to desire, or that I'm slipping back into the habits of my old slave-to-schoolwork self. I know that I make the world about myself far too often, and I second-guess many of the ways I've chosen to interpret reality.
I suppose there are a lot of things that I would sort of like to happen, but I think that I'm finally learning to surrender my own personal agenda to the will of the One that loves me more than anyone ever has or ever will. You see, I have a history of holding on too tightly to good things that just were not best for me; my grandmother once described me as "loving hard." It sounds like a good thing, but I'm not really interested in going down any more dead-end roads.
I'm confused about a lot of things, but in this moment, as I type this, and for the last few days really, I have wanted nothing but whatever God's very best is for me. I feel as though I can say that with more honesty than ever before.
My mom and I went to visit Appalachian State University this weekend and I loved it. I won't say too much, but Boone felt ten times more right than Seattle felt wrong. There was space for my heart up in the mountains.
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