Россия

As most of you know, I'm heading to Russia soon. I kind of can't believe it's actually happening, and sooner than I think. Looking back on the last month or so, I've realized that I've learned a lot about Russian history. It's quite interesting, and that, coming from a self-proclaimed science nerd that will be the first to admit that she doesn't know squat about history, is a monumental statement. Unfortunately, I will have infrequent internet (at best) since we will spend the majority of our time in the rural Mari El Republic, but I will make every effort to type posts when I can. If this proves impossible, I will put them up when I get home and backdate them. I'm serious.

I've never been away from home for this long, so if you want to send me a letter (please please send me a letter!), here is the address:

Kirby Lee
c/o Camp named after Volodya Dubinin
Respublika Mari-El
Yoshkar-Ola
157 Komsomol'skaya Str of 321
424006 Russia

Our professor has advised us that it takes about a month for mail to arrive, so if you'd like me to get it before I leave, please make sure you send your mail by June 10th.

Россия = Russia

western sunrise

I woke up early this morning - somewhere around 4:45 or so - and couldn't sleep anymore; I had too much on my mind. I walked into the kitchen and read emily dickinson for a while before resolving to take a walk on the beach and watch the sunrise. I even made a facebook status about it. (surprised?) Unfortunately, I dilly-dallied and before I knew it, the day had dawned. Somehow I missed the sky's fading from deep navy to pale blue, and suddenly I remembered watching the sunset over the water a few nights past. We're on the west side of the island.

It was just as well, though, because the thought of venturing out in the dark alone kind of scared me a little. Embarrassed by this childish feeling, I got dressed and began my walk. It was lovely to be alone in the quiet of the early morning coast; the sounds of the sea can hardly be called a distraction, and a gentle breeze swept away the South Carolina mugginess. I started to sing, but kept glancing nervously up and down the beach, wary of spectators, before I realized that I didn't care if anyone heard me.

Occasionally I would reach down to pick up the tiny seashells that the ebbing tide revealed - treasures for the hands of the tiny Russians that I'm certain will change my life in a few short weeks. God is so good, for as I turned back toward the place where I started from, the brilliant sun burst out from behind the eastern treeline. So often I expect very specific things from him, but when I hope in his promises, I am never disappointed.

fire-flower cordial

I saw Prince Caspian for the second time today; here are some of my thoughts:

I suppose I've always sort of imagined myself to be most like Susan Pevensie: harnessed with logic and sensibility, the one that matter-of-factly offers the scientific explanation for why the river has eroded its way into a gorge over the course of the last 1300 years (much to the annoyance of her siblings), the one that struggles with faith because practicality is so much easier. I admire Susan. I would love to be the beautiful girl that gracefully rides her horse (or bike in my case) in a long flowing skirt through the woods - the skilled archer that carefully aims before launching a deadly arrow into the side of her opponent - the one who kisses Caspian in the end.

Listening to the whispering in my ear, soft but getting stronger...
-mewithoutYou, Four Word Letter (Pt. Two)

Yet as I watched the film, I felt the LORD telling me that He wants to make a Lucy out of me. I am not meant to be the one that runs into battle screaming "FOR NARNIAAAA!!!" with Peter and Edmund, though that would be my preference. I am not meant to be the one who carries a bow and quiver with a magical horn slung over my shoulder. Rather, I am meant to carry a small but treacherous dagger and a diamond flask of fire-flower cordial concealed at my belt. This, for me, is such a strange spiritual undertaking, yet it is one that He keeps confirming. (He must have anticipated the doubts I would still have at the end of the movie, wondering if He was really talking to me or if I was making it up, because there was a beautiful Regina Spektor song at the end of the movie - just in case I didn't quite get it)

Therefore, the promise comes by faith, so that it may be by grace and may be guaranteed to all Abraham's offspring—not only to those who are of the law but also to those who are of the faith of Abraham. He is the father of us all. As it is written: "I have made you a father of many nations." He is our father in the sight of God, in whom he believed—the God who gives life to the dead and calls things that are not as though they were.

Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, "So shall your offspring be." Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead—since he was about a hundred years old—and that Sarah's womb was also dead. Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised.

-Romans 4:16-21

big jim

And I'm still waiting to meet a [guy] like my [dad] who's closer to my age. -mewithoutYou, Nice & Blue (Pt. Two)

Yesterday I woke up to an alarm for the first time in a while. The obnoxious ringing jerked me awake at 5:30, and within seven minutes I was driving down Thompson Bridge Road in the eerie early morning darkness. At 5:47, I pulled into the driveway of my dad's house, he hopped in the car, and we headed to the Y for spin class. I had taken my first dose of a typhoid vaccine the night before, and unfortunately my stomach couldn't handle the intensity paired with the live virus, so halfway through I went to walk on the treadmill while he finished up. About 25 minutes later, dad walked up to me and said "hey kirbylee, feeling up for some dips?" (He's helping me strengthen my arms for climbing.)

When we got home, I agreed to help out with some yard work, so we drove to Wal-Mart to purchase some grass seed, red mulch, and ivy. I didn't have any old clothes with me, so I had to borrow some of his. I like working with my dad, and yesterday had wonderful weather for working outside. There were moments when I considered dropping out of school to become a migrant worker.

At one point we were sitting side-by-side at the top of the small precipice in our backyard planting ivy that will hopefully grow down and hold the bank below. We laughed. We talked. We had a little system going. Patti came outside and captured this image of us.

Today, I got a flat tire on White Sulphur Road on my way to the Y. I called my dad, and he promised to come help me when my aerobics class was over. Sure enough, when I walked back out to the parking lot, he was sitting in/on the back of my car with the trunk popped. As I approached, he announced that I would be changing the tire, under his supervision since, technically, he'd already taught me how a year ago. The natural response probably would have involved some amount of grumbling, or even whining on my part, but the more I think about it, the more I am thankful for this experience. I changed a tire myself today. How many 19-year-old girls can do that? Thanks, dad, for being such a good teacher.

I am so very thankful for my father. When I was in elementary school, he would come in and read books to my class. I always remember him spending time with me. He is my friend. He offers great advice. I have learned a lot about the way that God loves me through my relationship with my dad. I am proud that he is my dad - proud to be seen with him in public - proud that, though he loves so many, he loves me special. I'm even proud that I look like him - flat spot, oval-shaped face, cow-lick, forward-growing hair and all! My dad is the greatest.


What is your's like?

christmas break

School is out! Yes!

Oddly enough, I've spent the first few days of summer on Christmas break, if you will. My dear friends Robby, Joanna, and Trey have welcomed me into their cozy home in Wake Forest, North Carolina. It's been a restful visit so far - while Robby's been at work or class, the three of us have taken multiple naps, watched Nacho Libre, obtained a piercing (yep) at the mall, gone for a stroll around campus, read Anna Karenina (for me), and Terrify No More (for Joanna), changed diapers, met some friends, and talked and talked and talked. Last night Joanna made a delicious chicken & veggie pizza with homemade whole-wheat crust for dinner. Afterwards, her friend Tiffany came over and, with Robby as our trainer, we all worked out in the living room.

I love being here; as a direct result of their hospitality, it already feels like home - as though this were a friend's house that I've been coming to after school since I was a kid. In a summer full of adventure after adventure, it is good to begin with this kind of get-away. I'm remembering how crazy Robby is. I'm getting to know my new friend Trey. Joanna-my-friend has been transformed into Joanna-the-mother, while somehow remaining Joanna-my-friend.

friday

My favorite part of the day is in the morning when the sunlight is just beginning to filter in through east-facing windows. I like these precious moments when I feel alone in the quiet, when everyone else is sleeping still. My hair is tousled, my breath is horrendous, my eyes won't fully open, and my fine motor skills are compromised. Regardless of these deficits, I like to shuffle into the kitchen and make myself some peppermint tea with cream and sugar - to sit still for a few minutes while it steeps.

My favorite part of the week mimics this brief repose. I love the moment when you finish your weekly duties and can just take a deep breath before the weekend activities begin. Due to the lack of urgency and pressure, Fridays are often my most academically productive days. The long drive down 129 towards Gainesville is best on a sunny Friday afternoon. I like to crank up the music, roll down my windows, and just drive. This semester I've discovered that campus is different on Fridays, too. It's quiet.

My life feels kind of like a Friday right now. I have only one exam left and then school is truly out for three months, excluding study abroad, which in my opinion, does not count. This is the first summer in three years that I will not be sitting for classes, and probably the last for the next three years, as most graduate programs require summer coursework. I am enjoying it.

Who has not found heaven below
Will fail of it above
God's residence is next to mine,
His furniture is love.
-Emily D.