a life-blow to some

Sometimes things happen to us that hurt our feelings. A family member says something that crushes you. Perhaps you find yourself utterly forsaken by someone you trusted. Maybe a friend gives her allegiance to a person that hurt you. People betray confidences. Gossip spreads. Relationships are broken. These are endemic among the human race. Earlier this evening, I was struggling with one particular situation in my life that causes me heartache, and ordinarily, I would have discussed it with my two closest friends, but I decided to discuss it with Jesus instead.

And why wouldn't I discuss it with Him? He has been an intimate, loyal, trustworthy, understanding, kind, merciful, wise, strong, funny, compassionate, patient, and true friend. With a careful eye, I have watched him fulfill every need that has developed in my life over the past few months: deepening friendships, business, rest, emotional health, discipleship, community, physical comfort, new passions (like climbing, drawing, and piano), a restored closeness with my mother, Emily Dickinson's poetry, forgiveness, romance, confidence, freedom, and laughter.

Yet I will never know the full extent of His love for me. That thought makes my heart feel so full, and for the first time in years, I find myself cured of "destination disease," and content where I am in life. He is my Peace. When I remember this, I realize that whatever goes on in the hearts or lives of others doesn't matter (at least not to the effect of making me feel bad about myself), however important these things may seem. Heck, sometimes it feels like the world as I have come to know it will end because of some relational issue. And end it does. But sometimes this particular kind of end is necessary; and a new spectacular world will spring up.

A death-blow is a life-blow to some
Who, till they died, did not alive become;
Who, had they lived, had died, but when
They died, vitality begin.
-Emily Dickinson

The ransomed of the LORD will return. They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away.
-Isaiah 51:11

For a brief moment I abandoned you, but with deep compassion I will bring you back.
-Isaiah 54:7

You were like a young wife, brokenhearted and crying because her husband had divorced her. But the LORD your God says, "I am taking you back!"
-Isaiah 54:6 (CEV)

I am so alive and so in love with this "God who gives life to the dead and calls things that are not as though they were." (Romans 4:17b). When I consider His love for me, I want to cry a little because I know myself, and I know that I am not worthy of such love. But by loving me, he makes me worthy. lovely. whole. perfect.