where i'll land

And I'm waiting for it to come
And I'm hoping for better times
When it comes, I will open my mouth
I'll write songs to make you cry
And I'm learning how to travel in time
How to make right the things I've done wrong
And when I do, I will open my mouth
I'm going back, back, back in time
-Travel in Time by Marching Band

Just a few minutes ago, I began my last 24-hour period of residence in Athens, Georgia, the locus of my soon-to-be Alma Mater. I'm not sure how I should be feeling about this, so I'm just sort of going with it. I've never been good at goodbyes - I prefer to casually leave things off as an assumption that you'll see one another again. Others might spend a night like this celebrating with friends, but being my socially awkward self, I went to the first half of a review for my Statistics final tomorrow, and left at the break without intending to. I walked from the Chapel on North Campus and wound up at Starbucks, where I ordered an iced coffee and kept walking.

I suppose the term "walking" implies purpose, so perhaps a better word is "wandering." I wandered for a few minutes, contemplating the fact that thousands of students had walked under these magnolias before me over the last 200 years or so. I climbed a few of the trees. As often happens, I found a reflection of the over-arching themes of my present life-stage in these moments and actions. I'm kind of wandering these days. It's not that I don't have purpose or Guidance, it's just sort of like it's 4:45 and you've finished your work responsibilities for the day because that's the kind of employee you are, but you can't clock out until 5:00. So what do you do? Run down the clock. A wiser move would be to study for your exams, but when you're a nerd that's kept up with her reading all semester, this option seems a little bit pointless.

I don't think that the Lord isn't directing my path, I'm just on a section of trail devoid of intersections for the moment. Somehow, most probably as a result of this big thinking, I ended up at the SLC, typing this post.

I guess I have some plans for the next couple months and years, really, but after that, I don't know where I'll land. It's strange, considering the compulsive planning addiction I fought as a younger version of myself. This is all I've got so far: June-August in Colorado, perhaps a family vacation to Hilton Head, then to North Carolina for a couple years. After that, who knows? Anything could happen.