Sunday, November 16

it's not easy

People, people, people, they make it sound so easy
They say just do what your heart tells you to
But sometimes you cannot feel it
Sometimes you cannot hear it
Sometimes it won’t talk back to you.
-from Pretty Girl From San Diego by The Avett Brothers

Do you ever feel like you're just barely treading water? Like you're using every ounce of energy to keep your head in the air so you can breathe? Do you ever feel that way for no apparent reason? Perhaps it can be attributed to some weird reaction between senioritis and anxiety about graduating a year before most of my friends. I feel like I'm losing sight of the vision I've been so sure of for months and years even. I'm questioning the choices I've made regarding my career path. I'm worried that I will, as so many others have, forget the compassion I now feel for refugees, widows, and orphans when I transition from youth to "real" adulthood.

How do you know if your choices are pleasing to the Lord? How do you decide between good, better, and best? Can I honestly place any amount of trust in decisions that I made my freshman year apart from God? Why have I had such overwhelming peace about all of this until now? Are these doubts something that I've conjured up within myself, or are they meant as a way of communication from the Holy Spirit?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i think if you're just doubting without having any alternatives in sight, then it may not be from the lord. i don't think god would bring you within a year of graduation to tell you you're on the wrong path. i would pray into these feelings and see if that's true though. the lord's not going to let you sit and worry for long. he wants you to know his best for you, so he'll tell you when you ask. but if it's just silence you hear, then i think he's probably telling you to stay put. these feelings are pretty natural when coming up to a big change, though. but the lord makes the very best of our decisions regardless of what he set out for us in the first place. so, again, i don't think he would take you to this point in college and not show you a different way if something was way better. but keep praying.