Better Things Ahead

"Has this world been so kind to you that you should leave with regret? There are better things ahead than any we leave behind." -C.S. Lewis

Death is an exceedingly difficult concept to grasp because of its stark permanent nature; we cannot understand it fully because every aspect of our world is temporal, at least to some degree. Less and less frequently I am reminded of a friend of mine that passed away about two months ago. Admittedly, we were not very close, and unfortunately, two months would not have been an unusual amount of time to pass between visits for us. Nevertheless, I knew her well enough to deeply regret the fact that I did not make a greater effort to get to know her more.

I wonder about her from time to time - where exactly she is - what her existence is like - and whether it is even something that I could comprehend as I am now. Some nights I cannot sleep because all the memories - the thoughts, the images, events, meals shared, conversations, and jokes - keep running through my head. How much more is this magnified in the minds of those that knew her best?

Tonight is one of those nights; my heart is filled with an overwhelming sense of compassion for her family, especially her mother, for I know what it feels like to lose your best friend so suddenly and unexpectedly. I know what it's like to want desperately to think and feel the "right" things, but to have so very many questions, and to struggle every hour of every day to trust God and believe that His plan and His timing are perfect. I also know what it feels like when the wounds start to heal. My prayers and my heart are with her tonight, though, in all likelihood, she will never know it.