green bananas

I've come to the realization that I've got some serious ripening to do. I have a lot to learn in the academic and professional realms, which coincidentally, become less distinct from one another day after grad school day. I have even more to learn about myself - to continue to develop and build on the beliefs and values that I hold. Most importantly, I have a lot to learn about God. I have to get to know Him better. I have to learn to trust in His promises. Otherwise I'll just be a bunch of green bananas for the rest of my life, and who wants that?

aimer encore

You must not be astonished when, even at the risk of your taking me for a fanatic, I tell you that in order to love, I think it absolutely necessary to believe in God (that does not mean that you should believe all the sermons of the clergymen) — far from it. To me, to believe in God is to feel that there is a God, not dead or stuffed, but alive, urging us toward aimer encore [steadfast love] with irresistible force.

-Vincent van Gogh

Agreed. Most definitely agreed.

No, no, not the rat track!

It's been raining nonstop for the last three days in Boone, and this weather pattern is supposed to continue into the weekend. The downside is that my energy level plummets on rainy days; all I want to do is consume copious amounts of grain and sleep and/or read fiction (Think about it, how many animals do you see outside in the rain? None. They hibernate or something). The upside is that I need to get a lot of work done this weekend, so I will have a lighter load next weekend when two of my dearest loves visit, and as long as it is yucky outside, I will not be especially tempted to play outside in these mountains that are fast becoming my home.

The rain started on Tuesday, and I was forced to run three miles on the treadmill on Wednesday instead of outside [Can I get a resounding "Ugggggggggh..."?]. Today I was due for a five miler, and as I would much rather run this distance in a torrential downpour than on one of those little rat tracks in the florescence of the gym, I headed up to Cone Memorial Park, which is just off the Parkway near Blowing Rock. It was still super-foggy when I got there, but miracle of miracles, it had stopped raining! Off I went around Bass Lake with my rain-gear and iPod, following the carriage trail toward the cute little apple barn just over the ridge.

At one point I heard some loud rustling in the foliage alongside the trail, and immediately began clapping my hands and shouting, just in case it turned out to be a bear. You never know.

I think I'm supposed to be learning something about faithfulness these days, but I don't know exactly what. There's just something about driving up the road in the middle of a weeklong rain and finding precipitation-free hour just when you need it that makes me think that it couldn't have been coincidence. I guess what I'm trying to say is... Thanks, Jesus.

new.fresh.unfamiliar

Main Entry:	new
Part of Speech:	adjective
Definition:	recent, fresh
Synonyms:	advanced, au courant, brand-new, contemporary, current, cutting-edge, dewy, different, dissimilar, distinct, fashionable, inexperienced, just out, late, latest, modern, modernistic, modish, neoteric, newfangled, novel, now*, original, recent, spick-and-span, state-of-the-art, strange, topical, ultramodern, unaccustomed, uncontaminated, unfamiliar, unique, unknown, unlike, unseasoned, unskilled, unspoiled, untouched, untrained, untried, untrodden, unused, unusual, up-to-date, virgin, youthful
Antonyms:	deteriorated, old, old-fashioned, outdated, worn

Thanks, Dictionary.com.

So I've experienced a lot of new things during the first weeks of this new chapter in my life called gradschoolboonenorthcarolinaadventure (should probably come up with a NEW name). Here are some them:

Greek yogurt, "study hikes" on the Blue Ridge Parkway, a developing interest in geopolitics?, the realization that "graduate assistant" really means "secretary," cheating on Publix with Ingle's (which is Spanish for "English" -- I've always wondered if they know that), Harry Potter on my iPod (for free, thanks to the ASU Library Instructional Materials Collection), the occasional glass of red wine, home-schooling three children on Friday mornings, constructing models of the circle of Willis using only pipe cleaners, volunteering at a nursing home, couscous, watching 18 Kids and Counting with my roommate, scoffing at the abomination known to many as "South Carolina Peaches" (j/k south cackalacky! but seriously...), this little bunny that almost always scares the you-know-what out of me when I see him hopping alongside me at a certain segment of one of my running routes near my house, utility bills, and the teeny-tiny basil plant I got at the Watauga County Farmer's Market last week.

After all, I'm still a Plant Lady.

can't go back now

Yesterday when you were young
Everything you needed done was done for you
Now you do it on your own
But you find you're all alone, what can you do?

You and me walk on, walk on, walk on
'Cause you can't go back now

You know there will be days
When you're so tired
That you can't take another step
The night will have no stars
And you'll think you've gone as far
As you will ever get

You and me wak on, walk on, walk on
'Cause you can't go back now

And yeah, yeah, you go where you want to go
Yeah, yeah, be what you want to be
If you ever turn around, you'll see me

I can't really say
Why everybody wishes they were somewhere else
But in the end, the only steps that matter
Are the ones you take all by yourself

You and me walk on, walk on, walk on
Yeah, you and me walk on, walk on, walk on
'Cause you can't go back now
Walk on, walk on, walk on
You can't go back now.

-The Weepies

It's tough here. I'm incredibly busy with school and work. I don't have many friends just yet.

However, I find myself clinging to this deep-seated belief that I am in Boone on purpose. When I walk outside to my car each chilly morning, I am reminded. When I heard about an opportunity to take a course on speech pathology in an international context (complete with a spring break study abroad trip to Guatemala) next semester, I knew that the path I've been following since I was in the 10th grade has lead me here. When I discovered that Appalachian acquired one of the faculty members from the MUSC (Medical University of South Carolina) communication disorders program that dissolved last year, I almost had to laugh. He's not just any faculty member - he was their cleft palate specialist - and he's not just any old cleft palate specialist - all of his work has had a multicultural emphasis. Apparently it is his intention to take students on an Operation Smile trip with him in the summer. Naturally, it is my intention to be one of those students.

Yeah, I'm here for a reason - for a purpose. It's just a matter of settling into it. Besides, I just wrote a check for my out-of-state tuition, and I can't go back now.

on being a graduate student

Being a graduate student is a glamorous thing, indeed. During "orientation," we are bombarded with information on everything from clinical malpractice insurance to the advantages of keeping an extra-large bag of cheap kitty-litter in the trunk of your non-four-wheel-drive car to help combat the ice during Boone's winter months. They take our mug-shots for clinic badges, feed us dinner, and send us on our way.

In the first week, we help our supervisors get settled into their offices if they are new. Professors delegate many tasks to their assistants, which may include, but are not limited to: obtaining basic office supplies (i.e. paper-clips, manila folders, post-it notes, etc.), constructing and installing frames for hanging files in filing cabinets, typing old articles that have been xeroxed so many times they are too difficult for students to read (but apparently, not too difficult for a graduate student), sending emails on behalf of the professor who is computer illiterate*, typing up instructions for aforementioned professor to access and navigate his university email account, filing, offering advice on the appropriate microwave time for a left-over hamburger when asked, and performing general secretarial tasks.

In our classes, we are cautioned by our professors over and over AND OVER again not to overload ourselves, attempt to skip class (unless we have the swine flu), or cheat. They go over each extensive syllabus, but by the time we get to our fourth or fifth class, they've all run together because some teachers teach more than one class and all of our classes meet in one of two rooms. We sit through three-hour classes three days each week. We read a lot. We feel our hearts sink as our advisors key in the override code that allows us to take 15 hours, exceeding the graduate school's recommendation of 12 for full-time students with assistantships.

This is going to be fun.

*I find this term ironic in its application to a tenure-track literacy specialist...

new home

Please accept my most sincere apologies for not having posted in months. In my defense, I've had kind of a busy summer, what with having the time of my life at camp in Colorado.

Now I'm in Boone. My parents left after lunch today, and now I'm on my own, trying to figure my life out. Graduate school is turning out to be quite different from my undergraduate experience. Whereas an incoming freshman at UGA is held by the hand and spoon-fed everything from meal plan to dorm life to registration to extracurricular activities, here they bombard you with emails and all you can do is cross your fingers and hope you don't screw up. The fact that I've been out of the loop for quite some time doesn't help.

So I'm just sitting in my new room, looking out the window at the green mountains surrounding me, trying to download antivirus software for my computer and mentally blocking the fact that the room behind me still has a box that needs unpacking.